John Lennon
John Lennon was a musician, hippie, and professional un-American; so un-American, in fact, that he was British. A former member of The Beatles, he led the "British invasion" of the 1960s, one of the worst military onslaughts by a foreign power America has ever suffered. He is believed to have been a cousin of Vladimir Lenin. Death Clues The Lennon Prophecy / Lennon Death Clues Upbringing John Lennon was conceived in a sinful, illegitimate manner by his mother Julia and father Freddie, and was raised by his aunt Mimi and uncle George. He began playing the devil's music in his teens, eventually joined in his mockery of Christian values by Paul McCartney, George Harrison, and Ringo Starr. Musical Career The Beatles' career began in their native Liverpool, but really took off after they played multiple shows in a German nightclub called "The Cavern", thus giving aid and comfort to our enemies in Germany. Enthralled by a band who was "big in Europe" and rendered helpless by the hypnotic shake of their effeminate mop-top hairdos, the U.S. liberal media welcomed the Beatles with open arms. The band became a worldwide godless hippie sensation for millions of teenagers, who especially loved Lennon; dubbed "The Smart One", Lennon corrupted millions of innocent youths by writing books. In 1966, Lennon said that the Beatles were "bigger than Jesus", without having the balls to get the group together to engage Our Lord and Savior to a measuring contest. He later met met Asian dominatrix Yoko Ono, who would later break up the Beatles because of a public execution of Paul McCartney, later to be replaced by a robot for a short time in the Beatles, and forever as the man. Lennon then went solo, becoming a God-hating liberal peace activist and murder victim. That Japanese Chick (Yes Japanese) John Lennon married Japanese dominatrix Yoko Ono because of her resemblance to Paul McCartney. Strawberry Fields Forever Strawberry Fields is a magical land John Lennon discovered while on LSD. It was actually a waste dump in the west end of London that the Mafia often used to bury bodies Legacy John Lennon's songs have become themes for Communist movements worldwide. He is revered third in communist countries only behind Marx and Lenin. He spread the Commie manifesto in America by asking his audience to "imagine no possessions" and having the audacity to say "I don't believe in Jesus, I just believe in me". I wonder how surprised John was to find himself in Hell. Secrecy In actuality John Lennon was a sekret republican, he only became a hippie so he could infiltrate the liberal left so he could one day open the door for other republicans to follow him secretly. Unfortunately a liberal agent found out the truth so they decided to assassinate him before he could expose their liberal agenda. Alas, the world lost a rightwing celebrity before his time. When news broke out that Lennon was hiding his republican leanings in the closet, all hell broke loose in Hollywoodland. It is suspected that many hippies committed suicide once they learned that the King of Hippies was not only a Republican, but a Reaganite! It is hard to believe that a rich hippie was a Republican all this time, this blows my mind. External Tubes *John Lennon was a Sekret Republican Mooslim Category:Communist Category:Atheist